Truth is Stranger than Fiction

Like so many in the world today I have to remind myself daily that the shitstorm going on around me is actual reality. Real live Life. Crazier than anything Hollywood has cooked up, more dystopian and sinister than a Bond movie written by Cormac McCarthy. And so my normal habit of dismissing conspiracy theories as too ridiculous to have merit has come to a screeching halt. In fact, I have a few of my own surrounding recent events in our government and the world. Here, for your amusement, is my latest:

For this bit, the part of Putin shall be played by you, the reader. Trump has been installed as POTUS through a complex series of propaganda attacks, election/ballot machine and database hacking, plus some good timing and luck. He is, of course, an invaluable asset for you, and you've got so much dirt on him that a fleet of backhoes couldn't dig him out from under your thumb. A former KGB agent's wet dream: your mole is the King of the Moles, and you'll do anything to keep this guy in office. He's the best thing to happen to Russia since vodka. And you're so ethically and morally bankrupt you didn't even need a good reason to be nefarious, but you've got a damn good one here.

That's you behind the Iron Curtain, wizarding your Oz.

You're already entrenched in Syria. Your man Trump desperately, DESPERATELY needs a distraction - a dog to wag that's big enough to make people forget, even temporarily, that he's bought and paid for by a zillion different factions. You coordinate a chemical weapons attack, ostensibly carried out by the Assad regime, to take the heat off in the States, to give Trump an opportunity to seem decisive, presidential, and independent of his puppet master (That's you. Remember, you're Putin in this narrative). You order the attack. Your men dutifully carry it out. The world is outraged. As a bonus, they will for a time stop talking about your penchant for using nerve gas on YOUR citizens. Win win! Now, Trumpy can bomb the shit out of some airfields or warehouses that you've already evacuated and you can retaliate somehow, escalating the hostilities until your primary objective is fulfilled. Trump can appear to have stood up to you, you can appear to have stared him right back down, and you will both benefit from a fleeting boost to your approval ratings. 

And this was from a year ago. Deja vu anyone?

Okay. You're not Putin anymore. Sorry to do that to you, but it was an efficient way to get you to where I was.

Aside from the obvious, I have another concern about this completely likely scenario playing out, and it involves chess. Putin thinks several moves ahead in his game, while Trump wants to know why you can't just play checkers instead. I can see Putin and Assad moving some chemical weapon components to likely air strike targets, then claiming the U.S. used chemical weapons in their attack. It's not likely to gain much traction, and it's only one of the things an enemy could do when they're given advance warning of attacks (see previous post) but it's a possibility. Unfortunately, even if Trump is doing all this unwittingly - being led around by the nose by someone much craftier than he - it's all to easy to goad him into predictable reactions. Fact. And he keeps firing everyone who attempts to check his foolishness. Every day that goes by with this guy in charge is a crapshoot, and I'm not that kind of gambler. I don't think most Americans are.

Life Comes at You Fast

Life comes at you fast. Just ask (former) Secretary of State Rex "The Environment" Tillerson, who was the latest in the Drumpfster Fire Administration to be shit-canned, and the highest ranking so far. It will be up to Robert Mueller to fire anyone higher up the chain... **cough cough, Trump, cough cough.

I give up.

Nothing to see here.

Mike Pompeo, Director of the CIA, will become our new Secretary of State. He will do a fantastic job! Thank you to Rex Tillerson for his service! Gina Haspel will become the new Director of the CIA, and the first woman so chosen. Congratulations to all!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 13, 2018

Trump didn't even have the decency (read: Balls) to fire Tillerson to his face. Rather, Rexie was alerted to his departure by Trump's tweet, was "unaware of the reason" and had planned to stick around in the State Department for as long as Mueller lets Trump stay. I'm sure this decision's got nothing to do with:

• Tillerson calling Trump a "fucking moron." Not to be outdone, National Security Adviser H.R. McMaster referred to his boss as an "idiot," and a "dope" with the intelligence of a "kindergartener."
• Tillerson advocating for talks with North Korea (ironically, now that such talks are tentatively scheduled, Lil Hands has determined that Rex has to go)
• Tillerson publicly disagreeing with Trump on; the decision to leave the Paris Climate Accord, the Iran nuclear agreement, the Venezuela sanctions, the Charlottesville rally, the Afghan war strategy, the Qatar issue, etc.
• Tillerson expressing shock (and accepting the intel that the Kremlin is responsible) over the recent poisoning of a former Russian spy in the UK.
• Tillerson calling out Russian interference in US elections and warning that they will continue to meddle.
• Tillerson calling out Russia for their war crimes in Syria.

The list goes on this way. In retrospect it's shocking that Trump hadn't fired him before. I'd say that I was surprised that Rex didn't resign earlier, but he's one of the few Trump appointees who seemed to take his job seriously, even if he was grossly under-qualified. I think he knows how important it is to have someone with brains and a level head in the position of chief diplomat for the United States. Too bad that Trump handicapped him from the beginning - refusing to fill important positions in the State Department with anyone who had disagreed with him or been critical of him in the run-up to the election. I say this with the caveat that I was completely opposed to his original appointment, there in the early days of this "Administration" when it wasn't yet clear exactly the kind of shit-show amateur hour we were about to be knee deep in. Once the situation became clear anyone with any level of competency at all became vitally important to maintaining some semblance of effective governing from the Executive Branch. Mind you, it's been difficult to find anyone with the proper resume to fill all the vacant positions who also fits the "never said a critical thing about Boss Baby" mold.

It's worth pointing out that Tillerson's rather unambiguously forceful remarks about Russian involvement in the (latest) UK poisoning came just hours before Trump "decided" to replace him as Secretary of State. I use quotation marks because it seems more like Putin's decision than Trump's. I assume that Komrade Putin made his displeasure with Rex known to Donny sometime over the course of the evening, strongly urging his Apprentice to show Tillerson the door. Since the NRA has just shown us all how much backbone Trump has (none) it should come as no surprise that Vlad's orders were implemented so quickly.