By Way of Introduction

You can lead a horse to the polls, but you can't make him vote. They would have to modify the booth to accommodate his horse shape.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Muppets Start WWIII

Many of you remember The Muppet Show from your youth as the funnier, less preachy, and less educational evening version of Sesame Street. You fondly recall the two judges in the box seats making verbal jabs at the show going on below them. You sometimes confuse the Swedish chef with Beaker, rarely remember Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and still call the dirty hippie girl "the dirty hippie girl" because you don't remember ever knowing what her name was (it's Janice!). Well, I hate to break this news to you, but apparently the Muppets are sinister seditionists whose main goal is to undermine American values and society and, ideally, start the War Between the Classes. Worst of all, they're doing this by brainwashing our own children! And on our own dimes!

The video is long, because FoxNews couldn't figure out anything better to do with seven minutes of air time, but the upshot is that The Muppets are pinko commie... puppets. In fact, if you rearrange the letters in The Muppet Show, you get "Evil Liberal Agenda." Coincidence? I think not.

Slightly off subject, couldn't real news sue Fox for misrepresenting it? I mean, I can't just call my blog Rupert Murdoch's Evil Empire Mouthpiece, can I? Or... can I?

But don't accuse FoxNews of being one-sided, and don't give the Muppets all the credit. Apparently, Henson's creations are just picking up the baton from Sesame Street.

You should have seen this coming, truthfully. Ernie and Bert are gay, Big Bird is a tranny, Oscar the Grouch is a bum living off the state, and God only knows what Snuffleupagus is. Put the whole lot of them together, and you get a cadre of imaginary characters who are out to institute a totalitarian regime here in our own United States of America.

"So that's why they called them Reds."
The strange thing is, I had Beaker pegged as an Objectivist, what with the constant "Me me me" attitude, which is a philosophy usually associated with conservatives. Perhaps I've been selling the old boy short.

1 comment:

robyn said...

They're right, Hollywood is trying to poison the minds of our children with their choice of villains! Where's FOX's big ground-breaking story about discrimination against nerds (Vector in Despicable Me), or toys (Zurg in Toy Story), or lions (Scar in The Lion King), or the downtrodden (Syndrome from The Incredibles)... and don't even get me STARTED about their portrayal of stepmothers! Look, you idiots, somebody has to be the villain here or you have no movie, and you can't claim that the number of oil-related villains is more than a tiny percentage of all the kids' movie bad guys. I don't hear any of these other groups complaining - maybe because THEY aren't ACTUALLY villains in real life. Methinks you protest too much.