In order to help take attention from the fact that Mitt Romney's campaign is in a self-induced tailspin,
Representative Michele Bachmann has graciously agreed to launch
unsubstantiated attacks against Muslim-Americans. When questioned about the move, Bachmann replied, "Well, that clown (Romney) won't release his
tax returns, he's lied from the get-go about his years at Bain, and unfortunately the
Batman thing isn't distracting folks as much as we'd hoped.
Sheriff Joe and I decided that we'd double team the thing. You know, pull some of the press off the trail until something else pops up. We're kind of hoping for a massive hurricane, or maybe a volcanic eruption near a major city. Earthquakes might work, too.
Don't quote me on that. Oh, go ahead.
I've said crazier things! (laughs)"
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| "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" "AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" |
Though widely panned,
even by leaders in her own party, Ms. Bachmann is sticking to the plan. "What a true-blue American hero. She's a real
Ollie North," gushed
Glenn Hubbard, one of Romney's top advisers, following a recent campaign fundraiser in Hong Kong. When pressed about the possible anti-Muslim backlash that could result from such irresponsible accusations, Hubbard was unapologetic: "If it helps
get Obama out of the White House, then who gives a shit? I realize that comes off as harsh, but hey... them's the berries."
In related news, the Muppets are turning our kids into communists, and Sesame Street is a haven for liberal political insurrection. The most shocking part of this news is that anyone is still worried about communists.
